I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
