eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I think I sprained my soul last night
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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