I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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