You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
