wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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