Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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