yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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