Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize