Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
