One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
