you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
