I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
