You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
