Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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