Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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