pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
