i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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