I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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