Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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