dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Randomize
