..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
