toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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