Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
