what day is it and did you see me today?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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