my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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