I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Randomize
