i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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