Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
