FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
