im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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