I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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