She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
