We named our party play list daddy issues
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
