i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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