I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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