I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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