I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
