U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
