So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
