Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
