I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
