there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
