is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
