We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize