HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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