If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
im six kinds of drunk right now
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
