Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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