So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
