I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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