she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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