I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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