It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I want to fling myself into the sun
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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