My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
