Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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