I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
