he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
