my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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