I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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