I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Randomize
