I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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