Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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