it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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