Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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