that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
