Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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