Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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