apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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