Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
