oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I deserve this hangover.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
