Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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