after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
3pm strippers are depressing
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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