all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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