His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's never too late to be topless.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
