Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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